How To: Have an AWESOME Sleep (after a very long day)

Yesterday morning I wrote the following Facebook post:

“It seems criminal that a pint sized dictator can hold you captive all night in a small room with no means to feed or relieve yourself, due to the fact you’re not allowed to look at them or leave the room – but you have to let them know that you are there at all times, only to finally be able to make your escape to your own bed for Hubbys alarm to go off at 5 am and the little dictator wakes up on hearing his escape from the compound and demands milk, the light to be switched on and paw patrol. Hang on kid, this escapee has got to have her coffee in an Iv so she can preform what is required and finish reading Lauren Graham’s auto biography “Talking as fast as I can” *sigh* it’s going to be a long day…”


The night before was a really, really crap night. It was a very hot and humid night after a scorcher of a day and of course Toddler did NOT want to sleep. I tried everything I could think of. This included:

  • Pushing his bedtime back further an hour, due to it still being quite hot and still very light outside
  • Leaving two windows open to allow cool air flow into the room
  • Stripping the bed and only having a sheet ontop of him
  • Letting him sleep in only a nappy
  • Reading copious amounts of books
  • Ignoring him
  • Giving him a bottle
  • Singing to him

In the end he went to sleep at 10pm, woke at midnight and didn’t get back to sleep until I made a bed on the floor for him at 4am. He was up again at 6.30am. So the day already didn’t start out right. I didn’t get my coffee in an IV, but oh, how I needed it! Our computer was on the fritz, and we are also in the middle of potty training, so that mixed with limited amounts of sleep was just the cherry on top of a Long, LONG day. In the end, this was what how my day went:

  1. Wake up by Toddler falling out of the bed (after only 2 hours sleep)
  2. Toddler refuses to go back to bed
  3. Get up for the day – make first coffee and breakfast
  4. Decide to give Toddler a fluffy 
  5. Toddler ends up pouring the fluffy over their table to make “fluffy finger painting art”
  6. Trusty Grandpa gets up and asks for a ride to the Train Station
  7. Drop Trusty Grandpa off at the station
  8. Decide to do a bit of food shopping and collect scripts from chemist
  9. While waiting for scripts, go to the pet store with Toddler
  10. Toddler looks at the animals and decides to run round the store
  11. Tell Toddler they are NOT a cat (they were trying to climb and play on the cat tower displays)
  12. Tell Toddler they are NOT a dog (they were going into the dog kennels for a play)
  13. Pick Toddler up, leave pet store, collect script and go food shopping
  14. Give Toddler a free apple from the “Free Fruit for Kids” bin (Seriously Count Down, this is AWESOME!)
  15. Toddler drops apple on the floor, throw apple away, get a fresh apple – repeat x2 
  16. Decide Toddler doesn’t need another apple, and finish food shop with a screaming Toddler
  17. Leave supermarket and get home
  18. Feed Toddler their lunch with a fresh drink bottle
  19. Toddler tips their drink bottle upside down onto the table and floor
  20. Toddler then says “Wees Mum!”
  21. Take Toddler to the toilet
  22. Toddler decides they don’t want to use the potty or the toilet seat for him, he wants to squat over the toilet without his seat and even though he gets a little into the bowl, he gets the rest all over the floor 
  23. Decide to invest in built in toddler seat as it’s obvious that this is the reason why Toddler has been having issues using the toilet (it’s not the same as what Mummy and Daddy use)
  24. Clean mess up and help Toddler wash hands and put on undies
  25. Toddler does poo in undies
  26. Dispose of poo and get clean undies
  27. While doing this, Toddler finishes his poo on top of his Monkey
  28. Put Monkey in laundry tub to deal with after cleaning Toddler up
  29. Grab wet wipes and find Toddler on the couch 
  30. Pick Toddler up and wipe their bum
  31. Wash all the skid marks off the couch
  32. Clean Monkey and undies, put in washing machine 
  33. Turn on machine
  34. Toddler wants a milk and Monkey (this usually means he wants a nap)
  35. Decide to take Toddler out of the house as if they have a nap, it will be hard to get them to sleep that night
  36. Get to Mitre 10 and take them to the playground
  37. They have lots of fun playing on their own, I need to tell them to leave a cone alone (they are currently obsessed with them!) then a playgroup full of kids ranging from 2-4 years old walks past
  38. Toddler calls out to them “Hey! Hi! Come up here!” with big grins on his face
  39. Kids walk past with their teachers
  40. Toddler gets confuses “Hey! Come back here! Play! Come back here!” 
  41. Smile and think how cute it is and be glad that Toddler is starting Kindy soon as he’ll have so much fun playing with the other kids
  42. Other kids come back with their teachers and chaos ensues with kids and Toddler running round and playing
  43. One little girl grazes her elbow
  44. The teacher brings out first aid kit and give her a plaster to help her feel better
  45. Toddler goes up to the Teacher and asks for a plaster too and show her his elbow (which also has a graze on it from a few days ago) 
  46. Teacher obliges and Toddler happily runs off
  47. Thank the teacher and have a good chat and adult time while the other kids play
  48. Play group have to go
  49. Toddler decides it’s time to go too
  50. Thank the teachers of the playgroup for the chat and the easy as leaving power (was expecting a hard time to leave with Toddler)
  51. Give Toddler a high five
  52. Get home and Toddler wants a drink
  53. Drink ends up all over the floor again
  54. Have another coffee
  55. Receive Text from Trusty Grandpa asking to be picked up from the train station
  56. Put Toddler in car and drive to the train station
  57. Get there 10 minutes too early
  58. Decide to tell Toddler we’re watching trains while waiting for Grandpa
  59. Get out of the car, set up pram and realise that I need to get back in the car to re-park the car (I have parked too far out from the curb)
  60. Hop back in car and re-park the car with Toddler screaming and upset because he wants to see the trains and thinks we are driving off and leaving Grandpa behind
  61. Turn car off and get Toddler out
  62. Walk to train station and meet Trusty Grandpa
  63. Tell Trusty Grandpa about the day (he is already aware that it was a rough night)
  64. Get home and cook dinner
  65. Try putting Toddler to bed at usual bedtime – having trouble
  66. Trusty Grandpa offers to take over
  67. Go to bed at 7pm and sleep right through till 5am with Toddler falling out of bed – Start a brand new day! (this time feeling really refreshed … what can go wrong?)
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