How To: Clean the house before your Mother-in-law arrives


The week leading up to the visit:

  1. Have a sore back from all the extra stretches the rehab physio has given you to do
  2. Have hardly any sleep for about a week due to Toddler not sleeping in their bed, back pain, crampy leg and being wired from the copious amounts of coffee you have been drinking to help you cope through out the day
  3. Due to lack of sleep and sore back, get minimal amount of housework done, and keep putting off the big things
  4. The night before MIL is due to arrive, fold huge pile of washing that has been sitting around waiting to be done, clean the toilet room and because Toddler is in bed – opt to vacuum the next day.

The day of the visit:

  1. Get woken up after another restless night by Hubby’s “last” alarm going off
  2. Make sure that Hubby is awake
  3. Hubby leaves for work
  4. Start stretches and hear Toddler wake up
  5. Toddler runs into the lounge, rips the curtains open to say bye to Daddy
  6. Make Toddler breakfast
  7. Make and eat own breakfast
  8. Trusty Grandpa gets up and does the dishes
  9. Have a quick shower with Toddler and send out to Trusty Grandpa to dress while getting self dressed
  10. Say bye to Toddler and head off for blood test (Toddler NOT happy about me leaving)
  11. Have 5 vials of blood taken
  12. Decide to go straight home instead of food shopping after blood test as now need a rest and something to eat (besides, Toddler usually loves food shopping, so will do so after lunch)
  13. Get home, start tidying up the lounge and own bedroom
  14. Get to Toddlers room and tidy their room, decide to organise the books
  15. Toddler comes into the room and starts to read each and every book that I begin to put away – or wants me to read it to him (he is so my Son)
  16. Manage to finish in Toddlers room
  17. Empty rubbish bins in room
  18. Empty vacuum cleaner
  19. Vacuum lounge (with Toddlers help – pushing, pulling the vacuum around)
  20. Decide to lay down and rest for a little bit
  21. Toddler follows into the bedroom
  22. Talk to Toddler for a bit
  23. Toddler takes out the box of lego people from Hubby’s bedside table and starts playing with them
  24. Close eyes for a few minutes, listening to Toddler being occupied with his game
  25. Feel Toddler jump up on bed and say “KEYS!”
  26. Toddler steps from bed with the window keys in his hand and decided that he needs to unlock the window while standing on the window sill
  27. Get up off the bed and remove Toddler from the window sill
  28. Toddler arches back
  29. Stepback to regain balance and step on all the lego people
  30. Lose balance even more
  31. Throw Toddler on the bed and drop to knees in pain
  32. Let out a squeal as knelt in the lego people
  33. Take a few deep breaths
  34. Look up to see Toddler is batting the lamps above Hubby’s and my bed
  35. Tell Toddler off
  36. Hobble outside and ask Trusty Grandpa to keep an eye on Toddler while you clean up lego people (and to have a few minutes to calm self down)
  37. Trusty Grandpa takes over and feeds Toddler their lunch
  38. Have a little cry to let it all out and pick up the lego people
  39. Hobble back into the kitchen and make lunch
  40. Sit down for a little bit and think about all that needs to be done
  41. Decide that food shopping can be done after a little rest
  42. Also Decide that the rest of the vacuuming can wait, as I would rather have a happy child (who is clearly craving attention from me) then a perfect house.
  43. Continue to sit down and give pat on the back for work that has been done
  44. Wonderful Granny arrives and after I apologise for not being able to get the house as clean as I would have liked (bathroom still needs to be done, rest of house vacuumed and Toddler has taken his toys for a walk through out the house)
  45. Wonderful Granny gives me a hug and tells me not to worry about it as she knows how hard it can be
  46. Remind self in future to continue enjoying the moments with Toddler instead of stressing about housework, as most people will understand.

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