How To: Get Toddler into the Car Seat when they don’t want to

I have gone through many different scenarios with my Toddler – as when he doesn’t want to leave a place (usually the playground) he puts up a fight and doesn’t want to leave at all.

This past year, there have been countless of times where we have been out and about somewhere and we’ve needed to come home – but my Toddler doesn’t want to leave just yet.

If I am rushing and just tell Toddler that we are leaving and put him straight into the pram or car seat I usually get one – or more of the following:

  1. Planking (where they arch their back, making it hard for you to put them in their seat, and worried that you might hurt them)
  2. Waving hands in frustration, resulting in myself being hit in the face when I pick him up
  3. Screaming
  4. Shouting out “NO! HELP!” (this can lead to curious stares from strangers and a little embarrassment)
  5. Running away
  6. Refusing to leave, point blank – or ignoring you

All of the above are really hard for me, as I have to be very careful with my back, due recovering from surgery on it from a few years ago. I am still learning different ways to prevent this happening, but these are the following things that have worked for me:


  • I have tickled him until he laughed (but I gauge this, as if he is too upset/wound up already it will only frustrate him more and ensure more screaming)
  • Distraction is a good thing – if you have a toy that they can play with all the better! I have recently bought a toy steering wheel from the local opshop and every time I have been having trouble getting him into this seat or pram, I give it to him so that he can “drive the car” from from his car seat. You could easily make your own out of cardboard together too! Extra points to you if you get him to turn the wheel left or right when you are pushing the pram and follow the direction he is turning it. (I wouldn’t recommend doing this with the car though…)
  • Wait them out if you have the time – calmly explain to them what you would like them to do, and if needed, put them in time out.
  • If it is the pram you are trying to put them in, see if they are happy to hold your hand or help you push the pram instead
  • Ask them if they can show you how to put the seat belt on (I have found this helps them feel as if they are the ones in control)
  • If all else fails or you are short on time, I have loosened the straps of the car seat so that I can fling it over his arms and still buckle it up (without force) and then tighten the straps until it is at the safe position for you to drive.

Accidental and Frustration Hitting/Kicking:

  • I have said to Toddler “Don’t hit me, I don’t hit you” in a calm voice (you do still need to be careful when you say this, as most people hear the word “hit” and hackles are raised)
  • Blow in their face – lovely smiles can be the result
  • I have caught the offending hand/foot in my hand and done the following:
    • Tickled it
    • Done “This Little Piggy” or “Round and Round the garden went the Teddy Bear” etc
    • Held onto the offending foot and looked at it in wonder and said something like “Oh wow! It’s a foot! How did that get there? My goodness me! It’s not meant to be up in the air like this dangling around” (so basically I’ve made of joke of it, distracted him and make him laugh in the process)
    • Step or lean back (while still holding onto them) and said “That’s not how you high five!” and ask them to show you how a high five is done
  • If all else fails,  pick them up and throw them over your shoulder in a fireman hold


  • Sit there quietly and calmly talk to them
  • If you are inside, remind them that you use an inside voice
  • If you are outside and decide not to calmly talk to them (lets face it, sometimes it’s just one of those days) put on your “Mum Voice”
  • If you really want to scream back at them – within reason as you’ll look like a crazy person (and you are meant to be the adult here) e.g They scream “NO!” you scream back “Yes!” – make sure you smile back at them as you play this game. The funniest thing I’ve had from my Toddler from this exchange is them pausing to look at me and then with a quick smile from them they then said “Ok Mum, come on – let’s go” they then took my hand and walked ME back to the car!
  • Whisper! Seriously they will come close to you to hear what you have to say – or the change in volume will distract them from whatever it is they were screaming about
  • Say nothing, keep a blank face and raise your eyebrows (or one if you can manage it)

Shouting out “No! Help!”

  • Ask them what they want help with
  • If you are having a lot of weird stares from other people, say loud enough for everyone to hear but don’t make it sound like you are panicking “I’m you’re Mum. Not a stranger.” – a side note here, if you are one of the people staring and honestly think that I am kidnapping my child or something – I will not bite your head off, in fact I will thank you! Trust your instincts on this, and if in doubt and the child really is asking for help, as embarrassing as it will be if they are only playing up, it is better to be safe then sorry
  • If someone does come up to you and ask you if you are your Toddlers mother – as frustrating and embarrassing it may be; try NOT to snap at that person. As I have stated in the above point, I am most likely to thank you then yell at you. I have had a lovely lady come up to me and ask me a question along these lines “Is everything ok here?” to which I replied “Yes, it’s fine I’m just trying to get my Son to finish on the play ground, but he’s having so much fun he doesn’t want to leave” she then offered me some help, and chatted to Toddler – which was enough to distract him and allow me to talk calmly to him. After that, I thanked her and Toddler happily hopped into their pram and allowed me to buckle him in

Running Away:

This is still a huge issue for me, and I am constantly looking out for new ideas that may work. I am not a fan of using a harness or strap on the hand for a few reasons:

  1. They can wriggle of of them
  2. You can get reliant on it, and they may not learn as quickly as they would if you didn’t use it
  3. It may actually frustrate them even more and if you have a stubborn child, it might not even work

In saying this, I have friends that have used harnesses for their kids that were runners and it worked very well for them. As with all parenting choices, an informed decision is the best and if you think your child will learn better by using a harness – go for it!

This is a list of the things that have helped me with my Toddler who is a “runner”:

  • Be quick on your feet
  • Everywhere you go, have a quick look for at the exits and danger points and make a quick plan in your head how you will stop your child from running there if they do. (if there is a body of water – have it already in your mind that you are going to get wet at some point today – I’m not saying that they will jump in, but it’s best to see the safest place for you to jump in before you have to, without injuring yourself as that wouldn’t help the situation)
  • Make sure that you have no obstacles between you and your child so that you can get to them in a hurry if they do a runner
  • Try to have someone else with you when you go out to a public place where you might let your child run free e.g. The Botanical Gardens or a park. At the very least, if they can’t run after Toddler for you, they can guard your bag or pram if you have to do a “Drop and Run”
  • Again, try to go to the park etc with other parents who have children the same age – or even older then yours. You can work together as a team. Also, sometimes the older kids are happy to help out as they understand the rules for staying in your line of site better. I have a good friend who has kids that are really good listeners and are happy to play with my Toddler while us Mum’s have a chat – if Toddler runs off and one of the kids are close, they will either steer them back in the right direction, hold onto them until I can get there or chase after them in front of me so they can tell me which way they went as it helps be decide the quickest way to get to the Toddler
  • Try to have a pram or a seat on hand – give your child fair warning if they look like they are going to run. I usually say to my Toddler “Stay here please, if you don’t listen – you will sit in the pram” (up to you how many chances you give them. Sometimes I give them three, others only one if they run off in a dangerous situation)
  • Use different words to stop them. I am still aiming for them to stop when I say “STOP!” (this has happened only once for me which I will explain in the next point) – I was in a fluster one day, and called out “Wait!” and blow me down if my Toddler didn’t stop in his tracks and actually wait for me.
  • Stand in front of them and hold your hand up in their eye sight and say firmly “Stop”
  • If they are old enough talk with them about it before you go anywhere. I specifically remember when I was about 3 or 4 year old, my Dad telling me “You don’t run away from us here, there are cars that could hit you. There is only one of you and it would make us very sad if we lost you” I understood that right away and I didn’t need to be asked to stop after that, just reminded of the statement with the words “There is only one of you”

Refusing to Leave/Ignoring you:

  • I have had my Toddler literally sit down in the middle of the road that we were crossing because he didn’t want to go (or if he was really tired from all the walking) In situations like this:
    •  If I feel it about to happen I quickly stop and pick him up and carry him the rest of the way.
    • If it is in a safe place, I stop and get down to his level. I then ask him why he is sitting one the ground. If he says his legs are sore, I offer to carry him or find a place for us to sit down together until he’s ready to walk again. If he says he doesn’t want to move (and he is not hurt) I explain to him “You don’t sit down in the middle of the footpath” and point out the people that have to walk around us. If he still refuses to move, I ask him again why he’s not moving and work from there.
  • Use a treat as a bribe if you want to (I try not to, but if I do it’s usually if they have been good the rest of the day and if they aren’t doing anything else besides saying they don’t want to leave) Sometimes you just need a little incentive. 🙂
  • If they are outright ignoring you, make sure that they can actually hear you. If they can’t, move to where they can, or:
    • Walk up to them and ask them to look at you
    • Tell them that you are leaving
    • Give them a choice “We leave now, or you go in time out”
    • Take them by the hand and walk them out
    • Acknowledge their feelings “I know you are having heaps of fun here, and it is a shame we have to leave now, but we can come back another time”

Other Tips and Methods you could try:

  • Give them fair warning. When I am ready to leave I either pull him to the side and tell him one of two things:
  1. Tell them they have 10 minutes left – set a timer on your phone, and make it clear that when it goes off, you are leaving. (extra points to you if you have a ring tone that helps e.g. “So long, farewell” from The Sound of Music)
  2. Give them 3-5 more times down the slide and count it down with them. Be fully prepared that they will go down the slide once, then play on each piece of equipment between each slide. e.g.  “Toddler, you have 3 more goes down the slide then we are going home. One! Wow! You’ve gone down once, now you have 2 more goes!”
  • Praise, praise and praise again! I get better results from my Toddler if I am positive and praise him and tell him that I am proud of him for listening.
  • Be patient. Remember that they are only little and still learning themselves
  • Talk with them before you go out and tell them what you expect from them, and then when it is almost time to leave remind them again. e.g. “We are going shopping, and then we will go to the play ground for a bit after. When I tell you to get ready to go home, please help me out and be ready to leave when we need to” (this works better with older kids, but I’ve started it with my Toddler and sometimes it works)

I have others that I have tried, and will add them when I think of them or when I have discovered something new! I would love to hear any other ideas for this subject if you have them 🙂


How To: Clean the house before your Mother-in-law arrives


The week leading up to the visit:

  1. Have a sore back from all the extra stretches the rehab physio has given you to do
  2. Have hardly any sleep for about a week due to Toddler not sleeping in their bed, back pain, crampy leg and being wired from the copious amounts of coffee you have been drinking to help you cope through out the day
  3. Due to lack of sleep and sore back, get minimal amount of housework done, and keep putting off the big things
  4. The night before MIL is due to arrive, fold huge pile of washing that has been sitting around waiting to be done, clean the toilet room and because Toddler is in bed – opt to vacuum the next day.

The day of the visit:

  1. Get woken up after another restless night by Hubby’s “last” alarm going off
  2. Make sure that Hubby is awake
  3. Hubby leaves for work
  4. Start stretches and hear Toddler wake up
  5. Toddler runs into the lounge, rips the curtains open to say bye to Daddy
  6. Make Toddler breakfast
  7. Make and eat own breakfast
  8. Trusty Grandpa gets up and does the dishes
  9. Have a quick shower with Toddler and send out to Trusty Grandpa to dress while getting self dressed
  10. Say bye to Toddler and head off for blood test (Toddler NOT happy about me leaving)
  11. Have 5 vials of blood taken
  12. Decide to go straight home instead of food shopping after blood test as now need a rest and something to eat (besides, Toddler usually loves food shopping, so will do so after lunch)
  13. Get home, start tidying up the lounge and own bedroom
  14. Get to Toddlers room and tidy their room, decide to organise the books
  15. Toddler comes into the room and starts to read each and every book that I begin to put away – or wants me to read it to him (he is so my Son)
  16. Manage to finish in Toddlers room
  17. Empty rubbish bins in room
  18. Empty vacuum cleaner
  19. Vacuum lounge (with Toddlers help – pushing, pulling the vacuum around)
  20. Decide to lay down and rest for a little bit
  21. Toddler follows into the bedroom
  22. Talk to Toddler for a bit
  23. Toddler takes out the box of lego people from Hubby’s bedside table and starts playing with them
  24. Close eyes for a few minutes, listening to Toddler being occupied with his game
  25. Feel Toddler jump up on bed and say “KEYS!”
  26. Toddler steps from bed with the window keys in his hand and decided that he needs to unlock the window while standing on the window sill
  27. Get up off the bed and remove Toddler from the window sill
  28. Toddler arches back
  29. Stepback to regain balance and step on all the lego people
  30. Lose balance even more
  31. Throw Toddler on the bed and drop to knees in pain
  32. Let out a squeal as knelt in the lego people
  33. Take a few deep breaths
  34. Look up to see Toddler is batting the lamps above Hubby’s and my bed
  35. Tell Toddler off
  36. Hobble outside and ask Trusty Grandpa to keep an eye on Toddler while you clean up lego people (and to have a few minutes to calm self down)
  37. Trusty Grandpa takes over and feeds Toddler their lunch
  38. Have a little cry to let it all out and pick up the lego people
  39. Hobble back into the kitchen and make lunch
  40. Sit down for a little bit and think about all that needs to be done
  41. Decide that food shopping can be done after a little rest
  42. Also Decide that the rest of the vacuuming can wait, as I would rather have a happy child (who is clearly craving attention from me) then a perfect house.
  43. Continue to sit down and give pat on the back for work that has been done
  44. Wonderful Granny arrives and after I apologise for not being able to get the house as clean as I would have liked (bathroom still needs to be done, rest of house vacuumed and Toddler has taken his toys for a walk through out the house)
  45. Wonderful Granny gives me a hug and tells me not to worry about it as she knows how hard it can be
  46. Remind self in future to continue enjoying the moments with Toddler instead of stressing about housework, as most people will understand.

How To: Ruin a nice family moment (but still end it in laughter)


  1. Toddler goes into their room after dinner
  2. Hear them chatting away to themselves
  3. Walk down to investigate
  4. Toddler is reading his books to Monkey
  5. Toddler then decides that he wants to look out his window – so he hops up on his bed and stands on the window sill
  6. Stand behind Toddler for safety and ask him what he’s up to
  7. Toddler chatters away and points to everything he see’s out the window “Mummy’s car – Blue”, “Grandpa’s Car – Red”, “Daddy’s um…. not his car”
  8. Toddler then spots the cat “Darcy! DARCE! Hello Darcy!”
  9. Toddler then spots a plane (and so on an so forth talking about the different things he sees)
  10. Toddler then looks at me and says “Mum?” with a serious expression
  11. Reply “Yes Darling?”
  12. Toddler points to his bed “You bed – Read Story”
  13. Push the bed up to the window sill under Toddler
  14. Lay down on the bed as instructed and pick up nearest book
  15. Hold the book up to Toddler and ask them what book it is
  16. Toddler yells out “CRANKY!”
  17. Start reading Cranky
  18. Halfway through, Toddler comes down off the window sill and gives me a hug “Enough now”
  19. Toddler gets back up on the window sill and continues to chatter away
  20. Hubby comes in and gives me a hug
  21. Start having a little chat together while watching Toddler
  22. Chat away with Toddler with Hubby’s head on my stomach…
  23. I feel a sudden urge to fart
  24. Before I can warn Hubby – out it comes
  25. Close eyes momentarily in embarrassment
  26. Open eyes and Hubby has shot out the room so fast leaving self and Toddler alone together
  27. Realise that he also closed the door
  28. Crack up laughing at his reaction
  29. Toddler looks at the door and says “Uh oh…”
  30. Toddler looks at me and says “Oh no!”
  31. Laugh so hard at Hubby’s and Toddler’s reaction that tears are streaming down my face
  32. Toddler then hides under his bed
  33. Laugh even harder and have trouble breathing
  34. Run out the room after Hubby, laughing and crying
  35. Tell him Toddlers reaction through fits of laughter
  36. More laughter between the both of us
  37. Hear giggling from Toddlers room
  38. Walk back into room and finish hanging out with Toddler before bedtime



How To: Count


  1. Toddler starts counting in the lounge
  2. “One… Two…”
  3. Toddler walks out of the lounge an into the kitchen
  4. Daddy is in the lounge, calls out “Three, Four!”
  5. Toddler runs back into the lounge
  6. “Five!”
  7. Toddler pauses looks at Daddy and says “Uh… I don’t know!” and runs off



How To: Raise your child without your Mother’s advice

I have seen so many posts lately about “How to live without your Mum” they usually involve a story about how the writer lost their Mum at a young age and how tough it is to see other parents with their Mum helping out. I am not, in any way putting this down, as I can understand that losing a parent at a young age (or at any age) to death is terrible and there are no words that can explain or help you move on from it.

But what happens, like me – your Mum is alive and well but you don’t talk? What happens when you have made the decision to raise your child with out them in your life? What happens when even if you were on speaking terms with your Mum – you wouldn’t get that help that so many other Mothers so willingly provide to their children? I don’t have all the answers, and every day I am learning to cope with my decision (and the knowledge that I will never get what I want and need from my Mum)

I won’t go into all the details, as I know for some it may be traumatic to read about some things that remind them about a horrible parts of their life. But for me, lets just say there are a fair amount of unresolved issues that are between my Mum and me, and even though I tried my best to meet her half way, also to talk to her about the past and ask for advice – I had comments thrown at me to end the conversation i.e. “When you are a parent, you will understand why I acted like I did” or “Oh, well you’re going to be a horrible mother anyway.” (nb – now that I am a parent, I understand less how she acted like she did)

I decided to write this, as I realised yesterday for the first time in my life – Mum’s birthday passed right by me and I didn’t even realise. I am a stickler for birthdays. once I know your birthday I do my best to remember it. Especially my immediate family. I remember your birthdate and I do everything I can to make that day special for you.

Last night, while cooking dinner was when I realised that Mum’s birthday had passed. Yesterday would have been a day when we all went to Mum and Dad’s for dinner (or lunch or avo tea) and spent the day celebrating her birthday. And because of this I had a cry. I realised how far I have come in my life from the lost little girl who put her life on hold time and time again for her “sick” mother. I realised that even though the going has been tough the last few years I still do not regret my decisions and the way they have helped me grow into the person I am today. I realised how much of a fight I had to make on a day to day basis – to be the person I wanted to be with my values intact. I realised that over the years of the struggle with my mother – trying to be the perfect daughter in her eyes – I would never have been enough.

All of the above and more I have known for a very long time. But for some reason last night it hit me with a larger blow then usual. They say it takes a village to raise a child. I believe this is true. Even though I do not have the advice of my Mum – I still have a strong support network that I have found in my Loving Husband, my Trusty Father in Law who lives with us, my Wonderful Mother in law and Sisters in law, my extended family and friends.

In saying this, there are still times that I find myself lost, and there are times where it still hurts so much. I made my choice that it is best for me as a person, best for our Son and best for our little family to not include my Mother in our life because I wanted the best life I could have for my Son.

I could not be the best person, best mother, best wife, best friend I could be when I had a constant battle going on with my own mother. When I felt I was under her thumb so much, and I was walking on eggshells. When I was always playing the role of peace maker over something my mother had said to someone else in my family and I had to pull her in check and at sometimes act like her mother for saying things that were inappropriate. At such a young age I felt that our roles had been flipped over and over again. I never knew where I stood, but I was always striving to be someone I didn’t know how to be.

Slowly over the years, there were many times that I lost respect for her. And in doing so, I realised I did not want to be like her.

When I met my Husband – he was a breath of fresh air. All this time, I had been drowning and suffocating, and I didn’t even know it. He and his family welcomed me with open arms, and for that I am so grateful. I can not express enough or find the right words for how loved and included I feel. I am seen as a person in my own right. I can express and opinion – without being made to doubt it. I have more confidence in myself. I have a better awareness of who I am and where I am going. I didn’t have that before. With my Mother, and my immediate family I was always lost, told that I was being self righteous if I questioned her words or decisions. I needed to be put in my place; whether it be verbally or when I was younger physically.

I have many things to be thankful for; my little family, my Son, my life. I am even thankful to my Mother. Because without her showing me that bullying, exclusion and comparison is not the way to raise a child – I would not be the mother I am today.

I wrote this today as it is a brand new year, and I wish to continue to move forward. I may grieve for my Mum – although she is not dead – it is not really her I grieve for. It is the idea of who I wished her to be and the realisation that I will never get that from her.

So, How do you raise your child without your Mum’s advice?

  1. Firstly, decide who you want to be as a person
  2. Then, what you want out of life
  3. Who you want to be as a parent – decide this with your SO if you have one and stick with it
  4. How you want your child to feel about themselves
  5. Have a strong support network – I have surrounded myself with positive people, friends and family members who understand the situation and are happy to help regardless. I don’t associate with people who keep trying to push me back to my mother as for me, “She will always be your mum and you will regret it” does not cut it as a good enough reason to include her back into my life when she is unwilling to change
  6. Have no regrets. You can still be a good person, but if you focus on not being able to talk to them you can’t allow yourself to be happy. Yes, there are times when I see something that I would like to share with my Mum – that I know she might find funny. But if I open the door – it will be like releasing the Kraken. I do not regret my decision.
  7. Be firm in what you chose to do. You can’t keep going back and going round in circles if you keep getting the same results after so much effort
  8. Enjoy every day as a brand new day
  9. Enjoy every little thing your child does – note down all the cute little quirks they have and enjoy them for who they are
  10. Tell your child you love them everyday – let them know that you will always be here no matter what and that they mean the world to you
  11. Read as many blogs, books and articles as you can to help you decide why strategies you wish to take (especially when all you have to go on is a negative reaction you were bought up with)
  12. Talk to other parents and people in your support network – they are always happy to help, and when you are a parent – there are no stupid questions!
  13. Do not doubt yourself – EVER.
  14. And most importantly – Be yourself, take time out for yourself – remember who you are – so that you can show your child the best part of you.

How To: Put a Nappy in the Rubbish Bin


  1. Change nappy
  2. Put new nappy on
  3. Ask Toddler to put used nappy in the rubbish bin
  4. Toddler hops off the bed and picks up nappy with one hand, and grabs hold of my finger with the other
  5. Toddler says “Come on Mum”
  6. Toddler walks me from his bedroom to the back door
  7. Toddler asks for the back door to be opened
  8. Open back door and follow Toddler outside
  9. Toddler walks to their dump truck (which he had parked at the back door last night before coming inside)
  10. Toddler puts nappy in the dump truck (sitting it next to his gardening tools)
  11. Toddler then pushes dump truck to the rubbish bins at the back of the shed
  12. Toddler stops the dump truck next to the rubbish bins and opens one
  13. Toddler picks up a spade and a rake from his dump truck and uses the tools to pick the nappy up and put it back into the bin
  14. Toddler closes bin, nods his head (for a job well done) and pushes his truck to the back door, calling over his shoulder “Come on Mum”
  15. Follow Toddler, while laughing to self about Toddler cute way of putting his nappy in the rubbish bin

How To: Use your imagination!

Max has now reached the age that he uses his imagination during play heaps! So, anything that he uses his imagination for that I find amusing – or the different things he comes up with for one object I will list here for logging purposes and enjoyment 🙂

Table and Chair set

I recently bought a table and chair set (one of those that you flip the table over and it can become a high chair also) and even though we’ve only had it for a short span of time, he has been obsessed with it! This list of if the many things he has used his chair and table set for:

  1. Flipped the table over and used it as a piano
  2. Sat with two pencils and used the table top as a drum
  3. Lay under the table with his pocket knife tool kit and called out “I Fix!”
  4. Flipped over the table and asked to have a blanket over the top of it, so he could use it as a fort (five minutes later, I caught him climbing on top of the blanket and told him not to do that as he could hurt himself. He gave me a cheeky monkey grin, went to sit on it and promptly fell through the blanket into the bottom of the table)
  5. Flipped it over and tried to put the chair in the holes (I helped him, but it was upside down and not the hight of a high chair) He then pushed it up the other end of the hall, sat in the chair and said “Mum, PUSH!” While pointing down the hallway (of course I pushed him on it like a sled, he LOVED IT)


This is beginning to become a problem and I believe I will soon have to find him his own oven as he has started opening up our oven and putting things in it!

  • Pull out the pots and pans and I have found the following in the pots:
    • A packet of peas
    • A packet of corn
    • Bread crumbs
    • Rice
  • I have found the following in the oven where he has said to me “I cook!”
    • A muffin
    • A Banana
    • An Apple
  • He also likes to make us tea. I’ve got him a tea set for Christmas that I hope he will enjoy!

How To: Tell a Toddler what they are NOT


Most of the time, the easiest way to stop my boy from doing something naughty or silly – is to tell him what he is not. E.g. When he is chewing on something, like his shoe, your shoe or a piece of furniture (yes, this actually happens) I tell him “Don’t do that. You are NOT a puppy dog”

Here is a list of things I have told him that he is NOT (I will alter the list as more items become available and I remember them!)

  1. You are NOT a puppy dog (chewing on the furniture)
  2. You are NOT a piece of kindling (Toddler decided that it was a good idea to open the fireplace door and sit inside on the ledge – Thank God that he stays away from the thing in winter when we use it, but if he gets bored during summer – watch out!)
  3. You are NOT a cat (stop eating the cat’s food will you or lapping water up out of the cats bowl)
  4. You are NOT a piece of rubbish (Get your head out of the rubbish bin – NO! Don’t play with it! Put it back!!!!!)
  5. You are NOT a moth (Stop eating your clothes! – Though I doubt this will really work, as I was one of those kids…)
  6. You are NOT Sylvia Plath (Yes, he had his head in the oven, No it wasn’t turned on)
  7. You are NOT a stripper (as in “Stop dancing on the table, you are NOT a stripper”)
  8. You are NOT a piece of washing (he was in the laundry tub, we were trying to figure out how on earth he got into there as there was no steps and quite high – he managed to use the little handle on the cupboard door to hoist himself up)
  9. You are NOT a nudist, this is NOT a nudist colony. (Yup, he refused to put some clothes on and today I decided not to fight him on it – so around the house Toddler is running probably thinking “FREEDOM!” I’ll leave making him put clothes on for when we go out of the house…)
  10. You are NOT a cat (This time, he emptied his raisins into the cat’s food bowl and ate them out of there on all fours – naked)
  11. You are NOT a cat (told him this to stop him from climbing the cat climbing towers at the pet store)
  12. You are NOT a dog (again, at the pet store, him crawling into every dog kennel)

How To: Have a Toddler say sorry (without prompting!)


  1. Get home from a long day out
  2. Toddler wants a milk in his sippy cup
  3. Pour milk into cup and give to Toddler (they take it into the lounge)
  4. Pour own drink and follow Toddler, asking them if they want a biscuit
  5. Find Toddler pouring half the milk from his sippy cup onto the carpet (it’s one of those Avent learn to sip cups, you can’t spill it unless you push the top down)
  6. Take sippy cup off Toddler and put on bench
  7. Tell Toddler off for being silly
  8. Start to clean mess up
  9. Give cloth to Toddler to finish cleaning up the mess
  10. Toddler finishes cleaning and comes back and says “Sorry Mum” (first time he’s ever said it without being asked to!)
  11. Kneel down next to Toddler and tell them “Thank you so much for saying sorry, I am so proud of you”
  12. Give Toddler a hug
  13. Sit down with Toddler, give them back their sippy cup and a biscuit for afternoon tea



How To: Feed a Toddler Breakfast


  1. Toddler comes in at 7.30am (yay! mini sleep in)
  2. Toddler pulls off sheets “Up Mum!”
  3. Get up and realise that Trusty Grandpa is already up and having breakfast
  4. Trusty Grandpa see’s Toddler and puts more cereal into his own bowl (Toddler likes to sit on his knee and eat out of Grandpa’s bowl even when he has his own breakfast)
  5. Toddler doesn’t want to do that today
  6. Toddler picks up Monkey and takes himself back off to bed
  7. Follow Toddler and find him all tucked up in bed sucking his thumb
  8. Walk up to Toddler and check forehead – feels normal “You not feeling well bud?”
  9. Toddler nods and says “Milk!”
  10. Go and get some milk sorted for him, give to Toddler and say “Ok, when you’re finished, Grandpa and I are out in the lounge, you can come out if you want to and I’ll give you some breakfast”
  11. Toddler spends about a half hour drinking milk and having a rest
  12. Toddler comes out and asks for breakfast (just sat down with own breakfast)
  13. Get up and put cereal into a bowl for Toddler (Grandpa has finished his own breakfast by now)
  14. Toddler sits down at his little table
  15. Put bowl down for Toddler with spoon
  16. Toddler eats a little bit and decides he wants some of my breakfast
  17. Toddler pushes table out, which makes the bowl slide off the top
  18. Amazingly – the bowl lands right way up, no spills!
  19. Stand up to retrieve bowl
  20. Toddler pushes table out more and it topples over
  21. Table falls down onto of bowl – flipping it into the air
  22. Give own breakfast to Toddler while cleaning up spilled cereal