How To: Go to the Chemist with the Toddler


  1. Wake up in Toddlers bed (because Toddler slept in your bed last night)
  2. Get up and check on Toddler
  3. Toddler still sleeping
  4. Check time – 6am
  5. Toss up between getting ready for the day or going to lay down on Hubby’s side of the bed for a little while – Bed wins
  6. Wake up at 7.30am to Toddler’s smile “Daddy work?”
  7. Answer, “Yes, Daddy’s at work”
  8. Toddler gives kiss and says “Breakfast!”
  9. Get up and follow Toddler to the lounge
  10. Put Sesame Street on for Toddler while making breakfast
  11. Give Toddler bottle and their breakfast
  12. Sit down and read while eating own breakfast
  13. Sesame Street finishes
  14. Toddler turns T.V. off and starts playing with cars
  15. Start smelling something funky
  16. Ask Toddler if they have done poos
  17. Toddler answers “Nope, no poos”
  18. Ask Toddler “Are you sure? Or is it just a very stinky fart?”
  19. Toddler grins and looks so proud of themselves “YEAH!
  20. Check nappy to be extra sure – Toddler was right, it was a very stinky fart.
  21. Trusty Grandpa gets up
  22. Make Coffee for Trusty Grandpa
  23. Have shower while Trusty Grandpa keeps an eye on the Toddler
  24. Get dressed and then dress Toddler in record time
  25. Put a load of washing on then hang it up
  26. Trusty Grandpa gives Toddler a ride around the backyard on the wheelbarrow
  27. Toddler jumps off wheelbarrow and scraps back
  28. Trusty Grandpa calms Toddler down
  29. Put “Magic Cream” on Toddler to help back feel better (antiseptic cream that “sparkles”)
  30. Put Toddler in car – get reminded by Toddler to put seatbelt on
  31. Give Trusty Grandpa a lift to the train station
  32. Carry on to Dr’s appointment for Toddler (Seeing the Dr for other conditions, but might as well get the back checked out too)
  33. Wait in Dr’s waiting room watch Toddler play with the toys
  34. Be amused with Toddler handing the toys out for other patients to hold
  35. Stop Toddler from running up the hallway
  36. Stop Toddler from running out open main doors
  37. Stop Toddler from going behind reception
  38. Stop Toddler from running into the nurses office
  39. Follow Toddler to the scales and watch Toddler weigh themselves (13.4kgs!)
  40. Stop toddler from running out the main doors again
  41. Be called by the Dr for appointment follow Dr into their office carrying Toddler in a fireman’s hold
  42. Be assured by Dr that Toddler is just being a normal Toddler – bumps and bruises etc etc
  43. Leave Dr’s and go to the chemist for scripts given by Dr
  44. Decide to walk from car instead of using stroller
  45. Toddler does a very good job of holding hands and give script over to the chemist
  46. Be advised by chemist it is a 10 minute wait
  47. Toddler says “Dogs?”
  48. Nod to Toddler and say “Yes, we’ll go see the dogs while we’re waiting” (usually go to the pet store next door and have a look around while waiting for scripts)
  49. Go to the pet store and find only one puppy, a bearded dragon, a mouse, a few birds and lots of fish
  50. Walk past the mice section and Toddler is amused to watch a mouse on an exercise wheel
  51. Check time – script will be ready
  52. Tell Toddler need to buy flea and worming treatment for the cat
  53. Walk to counter, one lady being served so wait in line
  54. Toddler decides to lay down on the floor
  55. Other counter opens up – pick Toddler up and walk towards counter
  56. A lady jumps in front and buys dog food and starts asking heaps of questions
  57. Look back to other counter – another person is now in line
  58. Decide to wait in current line
  59. Toddler wants to be put down
  60. Put Toddler down
  61. Toddler runs off to look at the fish
  62. Chase after Toddler and hope that they don’t knock anything off the shelves as they are now being an “plane” with their arms stretched out to the sides (by some miracle they don’t knock anything off!)
  63. Catch up with Toddler as they suddenly change direction
  64. Miss grabbing Toddler by a hairs breath
  65. Toddler has noticed the bearded dragon
  66. Toddler wants to get the bearded dragon out of its cage
  67. Stop Toddler from trying to open the cage
  68. Toddler runs off to other end of the store
  69. Catch up to Toddler again and carry them back to the counters – which now are free!
  70. Sit Toddler on counter and order items needed – Hold Toddler with one hand
  71. Be told the price will be $90!
  72. Ask for a cheeper option
  73. Manage to get the price down to $75…
  74. Start to pay when the cashier asks if you want to join the pet store club – “It will only take 5 minutes”
  75. Look at her with eyebrows raised, take a breath to answer and bite tongue
  76. Decide to just point to Toddler and smile (Toddler is now laying on counter with legs up in the air)
  77. Cashier smiles back – “Are you sure? There are many benefits to having the card…”
  78. Cut the Cashier off and say “Thank you but no. I know you’re just doing your job, but for future reference, most parents that have their hands full with a Toddler… don’t have 5 minutes to fill in forms” Smile again and hold up card ready to pay
  79. Cashier scans items in, pay with card and give bag to Toddler to hold
  80. Walk out door holding firmly onto Toddlers hand
  81. Enter the chemist again to collect script
  82. There is a line of people there – 5 people long
  83. Wait in line with Toddler
  84. Toddler decides to lie down again
  85. Pick Toddler up and nod at the other mothers giving you “The Knowing Smile”
  86. Collect script after much wriggling from the Toddler
  87. Nice chemist gives Toddler their own “card” to hold
  88. Manage to walk out of chemist with Toddler holding hand and not touching things on the shelves

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