How To: Take the Toddler to the Toilet


  1. Go to Friend of the Farmer
  2. Order iced tea and an apple juice for Toddler
  3. Go sit in the outside area for Toddler to run around
  4. Toddler obsessed with tiny little house
  5. After a while of play, drinks arrive
  6. Ask Toddler if they want a drink
  7. Toddler sits at table and is excited with juice being in a takeaway coffee cup
  8. Toddler drains juice (Iced tea was nice too)
  9. Toddler continues to play in tiny little house
  10. Toddler goes to hide behind little house
  11. Go to collect Toddler
  12. Toddler comes back with smile on their face
  13. As Toddler walks past you catch a whiff of something funky
  14. Check Toddlers nappy
  15. Discover source of funky smell
  16. Go to get nappy wallet – discover no wet wipes
  17. Tell Toddler we’re going home
  18. Toddler goes up to house and kisses window “Bye Bye House”
  19. Get into car and go home
  20. Once at home change nappy
  21. Play a few games
  22. Ask Toddler if they need to go toilet
  23. Toddler says “No, Monkey”
  24. Take it that Monkey needs to go
  25. Pick up Monkey and do funny monkey voice “I need to go toilet, Max can you help me go toilet?”
  26. Go with Toddler and Monkey to the toilet
  27. Put Monkey on potty and Toddler on toilet
  28. Toddler wants to sit on potty
  29. Toddler tries sitting on Money who is on potty
  30. Remove Monkey and put aside
  31. Toddler crouches over potty and does a shart
  32. Toddler giggles
  33. Toddler wants you to sit on toilet while he’s on potty
  34. You oblige
  35. Toddler does his business (will not go into detail about what was done on the toilet)
  36. Pick up potty and tip into toilet
  37. Clean potty
  38. Toddler picks up Monkey
  39. Shows Monkey the toilet “In there”
  40. Ensure Monkey doesn’t end up in Toilet
  41. Toddler puts head into Toilet “BYE POO!”
  42. Crack up laughing “Yes, bye poo!”
  43. Toddler closes toilet lid and climbs up onto it
  44. Toddler flushes toilet
  45. Help Toddler down
  46. Toddler fetches stool
  47. Wash hands (finally cupcake soap now resembles a pink and white blob, so Toddler doesn’t try eating it anymore)
  48. Say “Bye bye toilet”
  49. Close toilet door.


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