How To: Get a sticky kitchen floor


  • Have a head cold
  • Decide to go food shopping for essentials
  • While at the food shop decide to buy a ready cooked chicken and salads for dinner (as it would be easier to put together and you don’t have to really “cook” as such)
  • Go past the drinks aisle and see Chi (The Drink that is so smart, it knows its own name)
  • Decide to get it as it’s the go-to drink for when your sick (besides, it used to be the drink Nana gave you as a little girl when you were sick)
  • Grab a few more essentials
  • Go to the aisle that has super glue (Hubby wants some)
  • Find several different shapes and sizes of “super glue” (decide to let hubby come back to get it as you don’t want to get the wrong one – must be like the equivalent of sending him out to buy “sanity” pads)
  • Finish shopping and go to the check out
  • Find that you are over budget
  • Decide to just go with it as you don’t have the energy to think about what to put back
  • Get home and put shopping away
  • Decide to have some Chi – Toddler wants some too
  • Open bottle while asking Toddler to get their cup (not paying attention to what you are doing)
  • Chi fizzes out of the top of the bottle and over hands
  • Take a while to realise what is happening
  • Click to the fact that Chi is spraying out of the bottle
  • Instead of just closing the top again try to take it over to the kitchen sink
  • Slip on the already spilled Chi
  • Drop the Chi bottle
  • Have the Chi bottle spin round and round with you slipping and sliding to try to catch it
  • All this time Toddler is laughing and giggling
  • Finally pick the bottle up and dump it in the kitchen sink (BIG mistake)
  • Grab the bottle and close the top (WHY didn’t I just do this in the first place?!)
  • Stand there for a moment to catch your breath
  • Toddler says “Ooooh! Mess!”
  • Sigh and say “Yes, Mess. That was pretty fun wasn’t it bud?”
  • Look at paper towels
  • Decide not to use them as it would waste the entire roll (one bottle of drink = one or more rolls of paper towels)
  • Grab a few tea towels and start mopping up with Toddlers help
  • Remember that you need something wet to clean it up
  • Wet a tea towel and do a quick go over of the kitchen floor, cupboards and bench tops
  • Pour self and Toddler a drink each out of the little remaining Chi
  • Sit down with Toddler for a cuddle and decide to mop the kitchen floor when they are down in bed for the night.

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