How To: Cook a Tuscan Beef Casserole

1.  Get home from Dentist and make Toddler Lunch

2. Put on Fireman Sam to keep Toddler occupied while prepping dinner

3. Get slow cooker out of the cupboard

4. Realise it’s a bit dusty

5. Give Slow cooker a quick wash

6. Check on Toddler

7. Find that Toddler has somehow acquired a .48 cent price tag on bum

8. Take price sticker off – put on back of hand for safe keeping

9. Go back to kitchen and cut up meat

10. Boil jug for soup for own lunch

11. Make cup of soup

12. Realise soup is too hot – put aside

13. Check on Toddler

14. Find that Todder has stripped his clothes off and is stuck trying to get his pants off over his Thomas shoes

15. Help Toddler out of predicament

16. Take Toddler to Toilet

17. Wash hands – Tell Toddler not to eat cupcake soap

18. Put Toddler in undies

19. Convince Toddler to put on a “P is for Pirate T-shirt”

20. Fail to convince Toddle to put on pants or shorts

21. Drink  (now cold) soup with straw on left side of mouth

22. Finish cutting beef up, Brown beef and put in slow cooker

23. Cover with Tuscan Beef Casserole Sauce from “Global Cuisine”

24. Set on high and leave until dinner time

25. Check on Toddler

26. Tell Toddler to take CD out of mouth

27. Say Bye to Fireman Sam

28. Sit with Toddler and Read HEAPS of books

29. Let Toddler know Daddy is home

30. Greet Hubby at door, try to smile with numbish mouth

31. Semi-Pass

32. Answer Hubby’s question “What’s for Dinner” with “Steak cut up in the slow cooker with a tuscan sauce” (as hubby is not a fan of casserole, so hoping you can get this one by him)

33. Fail

34. Wait for it… “So in other words it’s Stew?”

35. *Smile* and answer “No… Tuscan Beef Casserole!”

36. Laugh while Hubby sings “Stew is yuck and Casserole too!”

37. Be glad that Toddler didn’t hear that

38. Give Hubby sample of dinner to make sure they don’t want it

39. Make noodles for Hubby’s dinner

40. Go outside with Toddler and hang up washing

41. Pick up towel to hang up

42. See Toddler Scoot around to back of the property with motorbike tricycle

43. Put towel down and walk to check on Toddler

44. Realise that it is quiet… TOO QUIET (Not good in past experience)

45. RUN to check on Toddler

46. Find motobike tricycle but NO Toddler

47. Turn around to find Toddler near ladder (ladder propped up against shed)

48. RUN to where Toddler is

49. Trip over own feet

50. Manage to keep running and get to Toddler before they get out of your reach

51. Cling onto Toddler and tell them to climb down

52. Get Toddler to step down one rung and refuse to move anymore

53. Continue clinging onto Toddler with one hand

54. Slowly reach for phone in pocket to call Hubby inside the house (no way he would hear you from outside)

55. Continue clinging onto Toddler with one hand while calling Hubby and getting ready to drop the damn phone if Toddler moves one inch

56. When Hubby answers, tell him calmly (more calmly then you would have ever thought you could in this particular situation) “Hi Hunny, can you please come out here behind the garage and help me get Max down off the ladder before he falls off? Thanks!”

57. Put phone back in pocket and cling onto Toddler  with both hands who still wants to “Climb Up!”

58. Sigh in relief as Hubby runs up to you and gets Toddler down

59. Finish hanging up washing while keeping a VERY stern eye on Toddler

60. Start serving Toddler’s dinner up

61. Offer Hubby a drink and serve

62. Hear a clatter in the kitchen

63. Go to investigate

64. Find bag of frozen peas in Toddler’s hands and peas on the floor

65. Put Toddler back in the lounge

66. Clean up peas on floor and bin

67. Tell Toddler dinner is ready find Toddler with bubble gun looking like they need to go toilet

68. Take Toddler to toilet and get shot in the face with bubble gun

69. Get Toddler down, fetch bubble gun out of the toilet

70. Spray bubble gun with disinfectant and wash

71. Wash hands and Toddler’s hands (tell Toddler not to eat cupcake soap)

72. Tell Toddler Dinner is ready

73. Get Bib – hear clatter

74.  Turn to find Toddler’s plate on the floor (right side up) and Toddler eating off it

75. Pick  up plate, clean up spillage, take packet of flour off Toddler

76. Put Toddler in high chair

77. Put Bib on and find Banana Cherrio in Toddler’s hood of hoodie

78. Remove banana cherrio and give Toddler dinner

79. Realise numbness has worn off, take pain killers

80. Dish up and eat own dinner

81.  Remember Dentist told you not to eat on right side of mouth

82. Switch to eating on left hand side

83. Finish Dinner and wonder where on earth the .48 cent price sticker on your hand came from.

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