How To: Clean a Toddler’s Hand, Foot and Mouth

 

  1. Go to Dr’s appointment to discuss something very important
  2. Take along Hubby to back up importance (and to look after Toddler)
  3. Walk into Dr’s office and sit down
  4. Toddler does a poo
  5. Sit and talk with Dr
  6. Toddler starts exploring Dr’s office
  7. Dr picks Toddler up for a cuddle – gets whiff of poo
  8. Dr puts Toddler down
  9. Finish appointment and head home
  10. Get home
  11. Ask Toddler to come to bedroom to change nappy
  12. Toddler runs to bedroom and hides between bed and window
  13. Call Toddler out
  14. Toddler is in an ignoring mood
  15. Tell Toddler to come out on the count of three
  16. Count to three
  17. Toddler refuses to move
  18. Come out and ask Hubby to help get Toddler out of tricky spot
  19. Hubby calls out to Toddler “Come out, or you’ll get a sore bum from your poo!”
  20. Toddler comes running out
  21. Take Toddler back to bedroom
  22. Put Toddler on change mat
  23. Take nappy off Toddler
  24. Toddler kicks out
  25. Dodge kick
  26. Toddler puts Monkey “Down There”
  27. Take Monkey off Toddler (yes, covered in poo)
  28. Toddler puts foot down in poo
  29. Toddler kicks out again
  30. Toddler scores kick into stomach
  31. Poo shaped foot print now on front of off-white coloured t-shirt (NEVER wear white when you have a Toddler)
  32. Call Hubby to help
  33. Hubby comes and tries to give hug to help calm down
  34. Warn Hubby about the poo
  35. Hubby steps back as if infected with the plague
  36. Laugh and leave Hubby to it with Toddler
  37. While rinsing poo off shirt and Monkey hear: “No.”
  38. Hear “Don’t do that!”
  39. Hear “NO! NOT THE FOOT!”
  40. Hear “No, don’t touch it”
  41. Hear “NO DON’T EAT IT!”
  42. Hear “Oh no, no, no, no, NO! HELP!”
  43. Crack up laughing and head back to bedroom to help Hubby (it’s either that or crying)
  44. Take over situation and send dry retching Hubby away to get some fresh air
  45. Finish cleaning Toddler up – pay close attention to Todder’s hand, foot and mouth
  46. Strip change mat cover and two blankets off the bed (covered in poo hand and foot prints)
  47. Put Monkey, blankets, change mat cover, t-shirt and Toddlers pants into washing machine

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s